"TuesdayReflection"
13th February 2024
'Tanya Nemley writes about'
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"How to trust God even though you're very mad at Him"
Sometimes I think I almost push God to this point ... But I know my foolishness doesn't affect Him that way. God is patient, kind and understanding.
If God was here on earth in the midst of a very difficult trial in my life I would shake His shoulders, jump up and down and just start screaming to the top of my lungs until He would have to slap me silly.
Bed beating with a broom ... doesn't really help!
I have done something this ... let me share my crazy testimony.
In 2002 I had been suffering with an illness for about 3 years that was undiagnosed at the time and I was having horrible debilitating stroke-like episodes.
I was at my wit's end because things were getting worse and I was waiting to be healed ... like yesterday!
One day I just exploded in prayer to God.
I was trying to sweep my little daughters room and I was so tired that I could barely sweep.
I was so upset about the illness I suffered with that I started crying really hard.
I was so angry at God in that moment ... I took the broom and just started beating my daughter's bed with it until I had no more strength left in my body.
(I was home alone thank God ... my family would have thought I've gone off the deep end for sure!)
As I was beating the bed I told God that I couldn't take it anymore.
I said to Him ... how can you let this keep happening to me?
What did I do to deserve this?
I obey and serve you! Why aren't you helping me?
Can't you see how hurt I am?
I cried so hard that my eyes were so swollen and painful.
After all this ranting ... I laid on my daughter's bed and fell asleep.
I couldn't believe I was still in one piece when I woke up and that
God didn't knock my fool head off for yelling at Him like that.
I believe that while I was asleep ... God ministered to my spirit.
He has done this many times before when I have been very troubled and I prayed and then fell asleep.
I know that He ministers to me in my sleep because when I wake up I feel .. different.
I feel that God's grace has worked in me and healed my emotional state.
Sometimes God has to work on you when you're asleep because your spirit is in a quiet state.
Our mind never shuts down and is active even though we're asleep.
I share this story with you because I want you to know that God understands our ... FRUSTATIONS.
He knows us very well ... He created us with emotions and He knows that we don't understand His ways which can bring on frustration and grief.
This is something that can happen from time to time under a very distressing trial.
There is a really big cure for this kind of frustration and that is ...
YOU MUST PRAY THAT THING OUT ... YOU MUST TALK TO GOD ANYWAY.
TALK TO HIM THROUGH YOUR TEARS AND THE PAIN!
It's the only way to get complete rest for your soul in a situation like this.
If God doesn't give you one of His inner healings ... if God doesn't take that heavy yoke (burden) from you ... you will break under the pressure.
You might resort to something else to compensate for the stress such as overeating, shopping, drinking, drugs or it can turn into depression, anxiety, panic attacks or you may take your anger out on someone.
You could even backslide ... turn away from your walk with the Lord.
It can lead to high blood pressure and all kind of illnesses.
Our body and mind can only take but so much.
God won't knock us out for talking to Him angrily or get mad at us for blaming Him ... He understands human pain.
Jesus cried out to God before He was to be crucified and while he was being crucified.
God is not trying to see if He can break us .. He has a reason for allowing us to go through these things.
Some reasons are testing's which teach us patience and perseverance.
Some trials are to bring God glory and some trials we will never know or understand in our lifetime.
We need to have a plan so when the very difficult times come ... we will know where to turn to and get the help we need to sustain us during that time
We have two choices ...
we can do things our way or
accept the offer of Jesus Christ who tells us in His word to put our burdens on Him.
Personally I choose Jesus.
In my early years as a Christian I carried my burdens around a long while before I finally gave them over to Him.
But now after over 20 years of walking with the Lord I give them over to Him almost right way.
Un-edited version avaiable, on request
I'm going to say a prayer for you right now:
Heavenly Father,
I know there are people out there really going through some very difficult times and some even feel like giving up.
Lord I ask you to please strengthen their heart and give them reminders from your word of the help you promise to give us during extremely difficult times.
Please look past their anger and fear and help them get to a better place in you.
Lord forgive them for their doubt in your ability help them.
Bless every person who has found their way to this blog today and has this need in their life.
Lord ... heal hearts and minds today and give them peace.
I ask this in Jesus name
Amen.
Hello and welcome to God speaks I listen.
My name is Tanya Nemley
and I'm the wife of a minister and mother of 6 adult children.
I've survived cancer and many other difficult trials in my life.
These trials have taught me to totally rely on God for all of my help and strength.
The Lord has been faithful to be with me through everything I've gone through and He has given me so much peace.
I'm a born again Christian and because of the sacrifice Jesus accomplished for us on the cross,
I have grace, peace, strength, hope, forgiveness, and God's love in this life and eternal life with God in heaven.
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