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15th August 2024
ThursdayReflection
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Josh Niemi
founder of Expository Parenting Ministries
How Should We Train Up Our Children?
Proverbs 22:6
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Proverbs 22:6 stands as perhaps one of the most beloved of all parenting verses in Scripture, stating,
"Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it."
Here's the truth:
Proverbs 22:6 also stands as one of the most misunderstood and misused verses in Scripture.
Survey most English translations and you'll see the phrase "...in the way he should go" as the basis or standard of instruction.
But, as Dan Phillips points out, a literal translation would actually say
"on the mouth of his way," which is a Hebrew way of saying "according to his will."
That's because the dictates of the mouth express the desires of the will (cf. Matt. 12:34, Luke 6:45).
In fact, if you check the footnotes of the New American Standard Bible, you'll see the translators note that the phrase could be rendered "according to his way."
In addition, though, we see that a vast majority of English versions put the modifier "should" in front of the word "go," which implies a moral quality to the instruction.
Here again is a problem.
This flaw is nearly fatal, all by itself.
It is simply this: Solomon provided no modifier beyond the pronoun.
That's right.
There is nothing in the Hebrew text-not one word, syllable, jot or tittle-that corresponds to or justifies the "should go" that most translations insert.
In other words, this passage isn't about raising a child according to the way he "should" go.
Solomon wasn't talking about the way a child ought to be trained up (which would obviously be in accordance with God's Law).
It's unfortunate that the translators felt comfortable inserting that word when it weighs so heavily on the interpretation.
With that in mind, the next question you might be thinking is, Then according to whose way was Solomon speaking?
With only one person preceding the pronoun "his," we can conclude that Solomon was speaking of training up a child according to the child's way
So, what does it look like to train up a child according to the child's way?
Truth be told, it doesn't take much searching of Scripture to determine what a child's way is like.
In fact, in the exact same section - only nine verses later - Solomon said this:
"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child" (Prov. 22:15).
Using the same Hebrew word 'na'ar', he described a child's heart just as we would expect it to be as a result of the Fall: ... foolish.
Taken together then, Solomon essentially said,
"Train up a child according to his own foolish way..." from that phrasing alone, what's clear is that this is not intended to be a heartwarming proverb, but a heart-warning proverb.
Rather than soul-settling, it's soul-sobering.
It might look like ignoring the child's rebellious behaviour: "Oh well, boys will be boys."
Perhaps it might mean offering excuses for something the child did:
"I know that's a problem, but he's really a good kid at heart."
At other times, it could even be as bad as joining the immature behaviour of the child
"I just want her to think I'm the cool mum."
So, how does Solomon's warning end?
What will happen if a parent raises a child according to the child's own sinful tendencies?
"Even when he is old he will not depart from it."
Putting it all together: Even if the child manages to grow old, he will not depart from his own foolish way.
Like concrete left out to dry, childhood folly only solidifies with time.
Proverbs 22:6 is not a promise that your children will return to the Lord if you raise them right.
It's a warning that if you coddle your child's sinful tendencies, you will raise a financial fool.
At the end of the day, remember that you are loved by the Father, forgiven in the Son, and empowered by the Holy Spirit;
use that as motivation to follow Solomon's wisdom in your parenting.
Don't train up your children according to their own way, because when they're old, they just might not depart from it.
><(((°>
This is an extremely edited version.
The full article is avaiable on request
Expository Parenting Ministries
exists to inform, equip, and connect Christian parents for the verse-by-verse discipleship of their children.
Josh Niemi is the founder of Expository Parenting Ministries and the author of the books Expository Parenting and Greater Than Aaron:
With over a decade of experience ministering to church youth, Josh currently spends his time teaching children's Sunday school and discipling other men, in addition to raising his three children..
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